AND THAT'S THE WAY IT IS!

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol - Dead
The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead
Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead
Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.

So the Minister asked the congregation -
What did you learn from this demonstration???
A lady sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,

'As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!'

That pretty much ended the service

Smoking pipes is really all about relaxation. Since tobacco was discovered its been a favorite pastime of men and now some women find themselves smoking a tobacco pipe. There are really only 3 ways to smoke tobacco: cigarettes, cigars, and the pipe. The tobacco pipe is the only option which gives the smoker a lasting sense of pleasure and a total state of relaxation.

A pipe is similar to a fountain pen or a fine time piece. It’s truly is a thing of beauty. Some even call a well-crafted pipe a work of art. It’s a pleasure to hold, inspect, perhaps tell a story about, and demands a certain amount of respect.

What you’ll find over time is that smoking a pipe is actually an art and a science. The first task to learn is packing your pipe. Once it is packed with your pipe tobacco of choice, lighting it evenly is the next challenge. Learning to actually smoke your pipe will also take some time. Don’t be afraid though, learning these skills is not a painstakingly long process nor are they hard to learn. It just takes some understanding and patience. The rewards of properly smoked tobacco pipes is a wonderful aroma and a great taste, not to mention a relaxed state of mind.

TELL THEM YOU'RE SANTA!

You know, I realized I'm an anachronism. Here I am, walking down the street, an old gray bearded man with a pipe hanging out of his mouth. A little boy stares at me and asks," What's that in your mouth?" Taken aback, I hesitate, and then say, "It's a pipe." "What's it for?" comes the reply. "Well," I say," do you know the story The Night Before Christmas?" "Yeah" "Do you remember when the story teller talks about the the little elf with a stub of a pipe in his mouth and the "Smoke encircled his head like a wreath"? "Yeah". "Well, that was me." He stared at me, wide eyed, and then his eyes narrowed and he said. "Go on, you're not Santa." I replied, "Do you see anyone else smoking a pipe?"

And that's the way it is. Not many pipe smokers around nowadays. (Except for us old Santas, that is.)